You had a good thing with a special someone. Regular chats. Lots of dates. The relationship was going somewhere. But then they stopped messaging you. No communication. No more dates.
What happened?
You could be the victim of ghosting.
Definition of Ghosting: What Does Ghosted Mean?
The word “ghosting” was added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary back in 2017. It is a slang term used to describe the process of a romantic interest disappearing without a warning.
Ghosting meaning, slang: cut all contact with a person abruptly and with no explanation
If one decides that he or she does not want a particular person in their life anymore, it is possible today to block them on their social media, ignore their messages and simply disappear. Such events are obviously a tough time for the person being ghosted.
Signs You Are Getting Ghosted
Ghosting can happen to anyone. It can impact the mental health of the ghosted person, leaving them with a lot of unanswered questions and creating a great deal of inner turmoil.
It can also happen gradually, with your friend or partner fading out of your life until you no longer have any contact with them.
If you’re the person being ghosted, you may notice some of the following signs:
- They share very little personal information: People who ghost on a regular basis are very private. They don’t want you to know where they live or even what they do.
- They don’t introduce you to their friends or family: If you have a meaningful relationship with someone, they will endeavor to introduce you to their family or at least talk about them. The same is true if you have a close friendship. If you seem to have a connection with them but still know nothing about their family or even their friends, it’s a huge red flag.
- They bail on plans: You are not their main priority, so they don’t think twice about bailing on you when something more interesting comes up.
- They don’t seem to care when they let you down: If they plan on ghosting you, they probably won’t care about your feelings, so they won’t hesitate to let you down and won’t care when they do.
- They seem disinterested in you: They disconnect when you talk to them. They barely text you and you get only the shortest and simplest relies. Some people are like this anyway, even in close relationships, but if this sort of behavior is out of character, it could be that they are preparing to ghost you.
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Why Do People Ghost?
There are many potential reasons for ghosting, and most have no reflection on you:
Anxiety
Even thoug it is not an excuse by any mean, some people can experience such anxiety or stress that they can’t bear to face you and tell you in person. They could also be disconnecting from people because of their mindset. They feel like they need time alone. It happens, and it’s not your fault.
Being Afraid of an Awkward Conversation
They could care more about avoiding an awkward conversation than they do about sparing your feelings. Technology has given us the means to avoid a lot of awkward situations, and while most people understand the duty they have to their fellow human beings, others will try to profit on it, regardless of how it affects others.
It’s the Easy Way to Fix a Perceived Problem
You might be a problem in their life. Maybe you’re asking too many questions or getting too close. Maybe they are just bored with you. In such cases, ghosting is the easiest way to cut you out of their life and allow them to move on.
How to Get Over Getting Ghosted
Whether it happens online or offline, and whether it’s a new relationship or a long-running one, ghosting can hurt. It’s a big knock to your sense of self-worth. But it’s not the end of the world—here are a few tips to help you get through it:
- Try to Get Closure: If you can get a message to them, whether it’s through text, social media, or even messages on online dating apps, ask them plainly for closure. Tell them that it’s clear they’re not interested and you no longer care, but you would like one more message to explain their actions. If you get it, you will never bother them again.
- Make it Impersonal: Do they have anything of yours? Did they borrow any electronics or any other high-value items? What about games or even books? If it means something to you, ask for it back as impersonally as you can. If it has a lot of value, consider threatening them with police action if it is not returned.
- Move On: Find someone else and post plenty of pictures on social media with this person. Show that you are enjoying your life without that person and that their absence hasn’t affected you at all. That might spur them on to message you with an explanation. If not, who cares? You’re moving on, and that’s what matters.
Conclusion
It’s easy to take things personally if you have been ghosted, but it reflects worse on the ghoster than it does on you. It means they couldn’t face you, for whatever reason, and hints at cowardice. Of course, there are many reasons why someone might ghost, and it’s never that straightforward.
Just know that it’s not the end of the world if you have been ghosted, and if you’re thinking about ghosting someone else, consider their feelings. Be open, honest, and straightforward with them. If they don’t take the hint and begin stalking you, then you can definitely kick them out of your life.
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